


Game of Thrones Fanfiction @ 1 AM (i'm so so sorry)

by cutecobain



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Gen, did i mention the crack???, please ignore this i'm putting it up here because my friend dared me, seriously i barely know anything about anything, this is so cracky, this would happen in like the first episode i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-07
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 17:16:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1752530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutecobain/pseuds/cutecobain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>jon snow rises from the table as silence falls across the hall like a wet wool blanket.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Game of Thrones Fanfiction @ 1 AM (i'm so so sorry)

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this like 6 months ago after my roommates made one of our friends watch the room again and i inexplicably thought about jon snow. this happened two days later at 1 AM. (i think i'm hilarious when i'm sleep-deprived) my roommate has since dared me to post it, even though it's an affront to everyone involved with GoT. i barely know anything about the show except for like tumblr spoilers so all the interactions are like, season one episode one level. whatever. i'm sorry.

Winterfell

"Jon Snow, leave this table this very instant!" cries Lady Stark. "You are offending our royal guests with your mere existance, you bastard!"

Jon Snow rises from the table as silence falls across the hall like a wet wool blanket. "Look, lady," he says, pointing his finger at her, "you're not my fucking mother."

Robb, Arya, and Bran erupt into cheers and thunderous applause. "You tell her, bro!" they yell.

Lady Catelyn makes mortified apologies to the Queen as a good hostess should, but Cersei waves a dismissive hand as she continues her latest attempt to break her record for number of bottles of wine chugged consecutively. 

Sansa also attempts to excuse her siblings' behavior, but to the Prince instead of the queen. Joffery ignores her in favor of admiring his reflection in his sword. 

Suddenly, a white walker bursts into the hall. People begin to shriek and run aimlessly about, but the walker ignores them all. He calmly strides to the head table, where he consumes Joffery whole, without even chewing.

"Hey," the King exclaims, "What was that for?!"

"Kid was a right bastard." the walker mutters as he disappears.

"Fair enough." the King says.

Jaime begins to beat his head on the table, Tyrion and Greyjoy begin giggling hysterically, and Cersei orders two more bottles of wine. It's a record-breaking night.

In the corner, Eddard Stark keels over and goes to meet his maker, but no one is particuarly surprised.

"Come ON, " they say, "he WAS Sean Bean."

"Hodor!" says Hodor.

_fin_


End file.
